You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
as a side note pls kill me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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