Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize