i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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