At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
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It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
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The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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