tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My balls are so social today.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize