Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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