we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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