Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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