What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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