i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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