I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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