i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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