i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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