i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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