I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize