Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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