i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
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She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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