Don't make out with my wife yet
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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