Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize