Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize