he puts the penis in happiness.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
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He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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