why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize