I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
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Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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