WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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