Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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