Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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