what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize