You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
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You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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