there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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