I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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