I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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