I hope mine doesn't look like that
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize