but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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