I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize