I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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