Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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