Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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