...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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