She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we made out on top of his cat.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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