I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize