I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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