I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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