yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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