Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
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as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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