don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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