It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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