"it" just moved
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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