There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize