I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
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I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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