just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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